My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
