U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
