i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
