marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
