If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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