JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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