sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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