He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
