community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
