the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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