i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
