Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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