Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
