The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
