I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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