My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Watching her eat just hurts me
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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