You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Randomize