super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Mom said you looked used
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
