Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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