I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Bring me that man meat
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Randomize
