Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
she smelled like a LAN party
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I had to cum in my sink.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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