Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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