She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
