just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize