So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
