nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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