this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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