Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
