Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
