No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just want to make out with him forever
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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