It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
i think im in europe. pls send help
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
