marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
