just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
