i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
