okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
