she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Shame - the story of my life.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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