I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
my poor anus
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
