Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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