okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
birth control should be required to get into college
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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