I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
