he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
