I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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