so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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