the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
