yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
