watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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