I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
