i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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