I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
