I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
