Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize