Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
