I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
