i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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