I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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