Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
