All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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