my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
