Her vagina should come with caution tape.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
